“Forgive” is a verb according to the Oxford dictionary defined as ” no longer feeling angry about something”. This is a word or an action that many, struggle with; more so when they’ve been hurt, disappointed or betrayed.
20 days into the New Year, I’ve had an opportunity to introspect and reflect on many of my relationships with family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. The purpose of this exercise was to determine my standing with the various people in life; to evaluate the feasibility of these relationships and to decide whether to keep pursuing them or not.
Though the exercise was not easy because you are forced to face your issues individually; to admit when you’ve overreacted, to accept when you’ve been hurt and to forgive where you were wronged. I chose the tackle each issue one at a time.
The truth is, it is hard to forget the pain you’ve endured and to let go. The moment you face the issue head on, the scar from the betrayal is reopened all over again and the emotions resurface- the hurt, the tears. And this makes it even harder to forgive, let alone forget.
But the lesson I’ve learned is that it is harder to keep holding onto the pain. Each time you see the culprit that broke your heart, that betrayed your trust- this scar is reopened time and time again. The pain gets worse when you see the culprit smiling and happily living their ” best life” while you are a prisoner of the hurt and pain!
Healing therefore becomes a far fetched dream.
I’ve also realized that I need to forgive those who’ve hurt and disappointment me- to set myself free from the prison that I live in.
So many of us are holding on to the hurt of those who’ve betrayed our trust or shattered our hearts. We live in pain and resentment each day hoping that one day we will find peace and healing. However the longer we hold onto the pain, the longer we refuse to forgive (staying mad); the harder it is to find this peace and healing we yearn for.
As we get closer to the second month of 2017, I challenge you to set yourself free. To set yourself free of the pain, the hurt, the feeling of betrayal and to free yourself from the slavery. Choose to forgive, choose to let go… choose happiness!
Dare to live!
